Doctors. Augh.

I can't imagine being a doctor. Long hours, stress, not getting a chance to know the patients. Years of schooling and training. I can't imagine the life.

And while many of the doctors I've had throughout this cancer experience have been terrific, and I'll talk about them in a different post, some of the doctors I've had have been cruel and impersonal.

It's not enough to have my entire life invaded with cancer and cancer specialists, radiologists, people touching my boobs. I've also had to experience some doctors who treated me cruelly and unfairly.

The radiologist who had to place the wires in my breast and on either side of my tumor forgot to fully deaden my breast before inserting them. I nearly fell off the table with pain, and I started to cry. I cried so hard, I couldn't stop. I knew the nurses were unhappy with the doctor's treatment of me, but they couldn't say anything in front of me. How could a doctor forget? Oh yeah, she was running late and in a hurry because  my lumpectomy began at 2. I know we all make mistakes, but her carelessness was painful as well as endangering my lumpectomy time.

The radiologist who removed my port is similar. He made me wait 90 minutes for what was supposed to be a short surgery. Even my nurse was frustrated because he was sitting in the back instead of with me. The actual procedure to remove the port was longer than the procedure to place the port. He was rough, rocking my body back and forth, and he didn't wait for the Lidocaine to take effect before he cut into me. He virtually laid on my breast as he wrestled out the port. Stitching me up seemed to be a problem too, and some of the stitches hurt. I tried to laugh through it, but as I look at how bruised I am, I don't understand why I'm more bruised this time than when the port went in.

How about the infectious diseases doctor when I had an abscess in my breast? He refused to come to the hospital to see me the day I was supposed to leave because he was "too busy." He really upset my nurse, who called my surgeon to ask for a prescription instead of waiting for the infectious diseases doctor. My surgeon agreed to give me a prescription, and lo and behold! the infectious diseases doctor wasn't too busy after all as he hurried to see me. Then he had the audacity to sit there and sound disappointed that I didn't have something totally identifiable. Additionally, he prescribed me an antibiotic that made me nauseous. He told me to deal with the nausea. The pharmacist tried to argue him out of the meds, and when he wouldn't budge, she made sure I had some nausea relief meds.

I'd love to tell someone about these doctors, but who do I tell? These doctors get paid regardless. No one evaluates them or asks patients about their care under these doctors. Hell, this last doctor didn't even finish my surgery; a surgical tech did. WTF? What makes doctors think they can treat patients so disrespectfully? I don't expect them to sit and hear my life story, but I do expect to be treated with compassion and care.